Personal Statement

 I grew up for the most part in a neighborhood where robbery and other crimes were almost regular. My townhouse was farthest from the street and so it had a trail from my townhouse complex to another. This trail would cause for an easy escape route whenever I or my siblings were in trouble but also a way for people to attempt to rob us as an easy target. There was a time I saw my own father have a gun to his head and been robbed. But out of everything I saw, I don’t think it affected me personally too much at all. It wasn’t until I was put in this situation that I realized how the world really was at a young age. Around the age 11, I was put in a position where I could’ve lost my life that day or I was giving something up. Multiple times stuff like this has happened but this particular moment really changed my perspective. I along with my older brother and his friends, the oldest being 15, the youngest (me) 11, were going to play basketball at the school like we did a lot of the time. This time, as we approached the court, there were at least 30 people already there and so we were just going to walk to another court. It didn’t happen this way. As soon as they saw us, they pressed us. They wanted anything in our bags, our basketball, and probably our shoes too. A local rapper at the time, whom I listened to, was part of it which I thought was kind of funny. I saw one of them flash a gun, it looked like a Glock of some sort but I couldn’t tell from a far. Of course, my friends and I took off, me being the first. They chased us all the way back to my house which was closer than any of my other friend’s houses. We ran in the house and ran upstairs and told my mother what happened. They were all in our bushes and everything waiting for us to come out. I called my father and about 2 hours later, he told me to come out and look for them. We found 2 at the end of the whole neighborhood, smoking some weed chilling. My father pressed them. The one boy was the one who flashed his gun as well. They folded and vowed to never mess with us again. THEY never did but other people did which was expected. But this altercation shifted my view of the “hood guys”. It shaped my identity. That situation showed me I didn’t want to be anything like them because they were almost frauds in a way. They folded under pressure and showed me that I was nothing like them. So instead of being like them, I went a different route. My older brother in a way forced me to play football because that’s what he wanted to do and my mother was only allowing him to play if I played. Football was aggressive and violent, I was chill and passive. It seemed like an absolute no go but in hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. When I was 5, early enough, I found out I had talent on the field. I took it slightly serious and developed a love for the game. I was always the good kid out of all my siblings and still kinda am now. I never really got in trouble and always had good grades but that was mostly due to how easy school was and how conservative I was at a young age. Football gave me a reason to stay out of trouble even when it was put right in my face. As I grew older, I started to hate school and didn’t really like the environment. I still don’t but my grades have always been good because to play football in high school, I have to have a 2.0 GPA. But to my parents, I needed a 3.0 or better. It wasn’t too much of a challenge but things like group fights and just being that guy in the class who acts out all the time, as fun as it looked, I never participated simply because of the threat of not playing football. It kept me from making bad decisions in the streets, in the classroom and even at home. I don’t even like to go out and party like my other friends, or do some of the illegal things they may do because of football. It’s the reason that I believe I am the way I am. There’s questions I have about myself and my own identity still. For example, why am I so nonchalant, why do I often like to be alone in my room every second of the day. Stuff like that I still don’t know why or what incident in my life made me this way. However, whatever it is, I love you for that.